Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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