drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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