I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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