he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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