yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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