I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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