Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
