Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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