Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Houston, we have a blender
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
