i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
