can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
