"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
