Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she looked like the before picture.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
