I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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