soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
