I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
