I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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