I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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