tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
