Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
