she looked like the bat from fern gully.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize