wrigley field is MILF paradise
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she peed on how many people?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i need some magic done to my vagina
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
