You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
