ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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