How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
