after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
