i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
