you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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