I think im going to throw up on grandma
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
