Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
