So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
