her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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