Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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