You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
