I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
