Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
