Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
