If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
