Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
