i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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