She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
