okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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