Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
