put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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