Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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