I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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