Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
