So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
