I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
