Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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