Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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