morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
